SAN ANTONIO - – Teen dating violence encompasses various forms of control and isolation.
“It’s things like, ‘I want your Instagram password. Your Snapchat password. I want to be able to log in and see who you’re talking to. I want to see your camera roll.’ Just kind of taking away things that should be private. Then just isolating you from everyone that loves you and kind of making you feel like your only option is to stay in this relationship,” said 19-year-old Teagan House.
House witnesses instances of teen dating violence among her friends and peers at schools in San Antonio.
At 16 years old, she developed a survey that demonstrated the widespread nature of the problem.
It correlated with research that already showed that 70% of women who experience intimate partner violence experience it for the first time before the age of 25.
“I wasn’t surprised because I see it. But I knew that adults would find it surprising. I hoped that they would,” House said.
The work placed her in front of San Antonio Police Chief William McManus, San Antonio Mayor Ron Nirenberg, the San Antonio City Council, local judges and others.
She even won the Texas Council on Family Violence Activist of the Year Award, given in February, which marks Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.
House sees this as evidence that adults are paying attention, but she is now urging them to take action.
“Over half of young folks say some of the dating abuse happened on school grounds,” said Molly Voyles, the Public Policy director at the Texas Council on Family Violence (TCFV).
A new bill on her radar, HB 1332, would hold school districts accountable for a Texas law on teen dating violence that’s been on the books for almost 20 years.
“It not only required dating violence policies but also required awareness education for schools, for teachers, for students, then offering resources to students affected,” Voyles said.
Research by TCFV revealed that many districts are not implementing it.
“They already have the mandate, they may just not know they do,” Voyles explained.
The law exists in the Texas Educational Code but it was never written into the District Improvement Plans, which are essentially what schools use as a checklist for requirements.
The new bill would move the teen dating violence program mandates onto those District Improvement Plans to make them far more visible.
House hopes it will further motivate districts that are aware of the law.
“As far as just general education, I did not experience much of it. In my seventh grade class, they took all of the girls only and we had one little assembly about domestic violence. However, they did not touch on teen dating violence or just healthy relationships in general. And so that definitely does not cut it. It’s just an issue that gets forgotten about,” House said.
Voyles said the law’s specific protocols themselves need updates too.
“We feel like it is critical that order be specified that the victim’s family is called first and add that there would be required support procedures for that victim. And then of course calling the person who uses violence’s parents after,” she said.
House agrees that the order is important.
“I feel like that definitely gives a lot more respect to the person that’s experienced abuse or mistreatment. There’s also more of an opportunity to provide them with more privacy if they so choose. I feel like giving back the power to the person whose power was taken away from them is very important,” House said.
She said there’s a trust problem right now between abused teens and school adults.
“One of my friends did try to get a Stay Away Order from her ex-boyfriend after there was a lot of harassment going on. And the school did sign this Stay Away Order. Both parents had to sign that as well, both students. And then the next year they were placed in the same math class,” House said.
She said seeing that had an impact on her and her friends.
“A lot of people think like, ‘This happened to the other girl over there, this happened to him. They’re not going to do anything about it, so why would I come forward?’” House explained.
She said if teenagers see their peers being listened to, believed, and taken care of, then more people will come forward.
“There’s a lot of really good teachers and a lot of really good administrators and counselors out there that do have the best interests of their students in mind and that maybe are thinking about this. They just have so much on their plate, a lot of them don’t have time for this,” House said.
“One of the things that I was kind of coming up with an idea to do is actually a teacher presentation because there are so many boundaries and kind of brick walls around talking to students right now in public school. But maybe we could talk to the teachers and we can give them a list of resources, we can educate them and give them sort of a workshop on how to look out for the red flags and kind of do keep an eye on the students,” House said.
Voyles said many districts are taking this law very seriously and implementing the programming that’s required.
KSAT reached out to some of San Antonio’s largest school districts to see what protocols they have in place.
San Antonio, Northside and North East ISDs all responded, saying they follow the requirements and include teen dating violence in their health courses and programs about healthy relationships.
NISD:
“We remain in compliance with Senate Bill 9 by including the topic of teen dating violence in our health curriculum. The topic is covered in a more broad context of healthy relationships. We are required to get parent permission before covering this curriculum content with students. In addition to the health curriculum, our counselors also cover the issue of healthy relationships, and the topic of dating violence is addressed within this broader topic.
The health curriculum specifically addresses teen dating violence at the high school level, and a much more broad notion of conflict resolution is addressed at the sixth grade level.
As with any any violence, aggression, or bullying, students are encouraged to make reports to an adult authority or counselor who can connect them appropriate resources and/or Northside police, as warranted. And, of course, parents.
SAISD:
“Our administrative protocol largely centers around creation of a stay-away agreement as a campus intervention protocol for teen dating violence. In addition to this, we offer Real Essentials evidence-based curriculum to all 5th graders as part of UT Health’s school board approved partnership with SAISD. said they have a strict stay-away agreement for teen survivors and their abusers.”
NEISD:
“The district addresses this requirement through the required health courses, and said if abuse happens on campus and someone reports it, we offer the necessary resources.”
House believes HB 1332 will help keep districts across Texas accountable so that they can prioritize an issue that may lead to teen deaths.
However, she said this isn’t just a responsibility of schools. Parents need to be fully involved as well.
“This is a conversation that some people think is a little bit too heavy or a little bit too serious. But if you’re afraid to talk to kids about this, know that the kids know and we are experiencing it and we’re seeing it in our friends. You want your kid to be able to come to you and say, ‘This is what my boyfriend or girlfriend is doing to me.’ Just fostering an environment where they feel safe to come to you is also such an important part,” House said.
With adults from all sides committed to addressing teen dating violence, children are empowered to choose healthier relationships and leave toxic ones.
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic violence, there is help for you. KSAT has a list of resources on its Domestic Violence webpage, which also explains how to identify different types of abuse.
If it’s an emergency, text or call 911. For wrap-around services including the Battered Women and Children’s Shelter, call Family Violence Prevention Services at (210) 733-8810.
You can also contact the Bexar County Family Justice Center, which also provides wrap-around services at (210) 631-0100.