SAN ANTONIO – Brad Simpson is accused of killing his wife Suzanne Simpson, who disappeared from Olmos Park over a month ago.
An arrest warrant affidavit released last week details why law enforcement believes they had enough evidence to charge Simpson with murder.
The lengthy affidavit included descriptions of various types of domestic violence.
While reading it was triggering for survivors like Mariah Gardner, she thought it was a good opportunity to educate the community and share her own similar experiences.
In April of 2023, Gardner was shot and her young children stabbed, allegedly by her ex-husband Stephen Clare, the father of those children.
Gardner’s 1-year-old daughter, Willow, died from her injuries. Her 2-year-old sibling survived and recovered.
Gardner, who is now an advocate for other survivors, broke down some of the common red flags she saw in Simpson’s warrant, things he is accused of doing:
1. Yelling at someone in public
“This is the perfect example of the way that violence happens. It’s not one specific occurrence. It’s not one specific form. If you see someone yelling at their wife in public, that’s not OK. What if he was yelling at a complete stranger? Was it more acceptable because it was his wife?” Gardner said.
2. Taking the phone away
“It’s a big deal because he’s isolating her. He’s punishing her for not cooperating. She’s not a child. It’s not normal. They do all the things that they can to completely cut you off from the world, from your resources,” Gardner said.
3. Tracking location
“And then maybe, you know, it’s wanting to know where that person is at all times. Sharing locations, which might be like this cute, endearing thing, like, they want to be kept in the loop. And what to someone who’s not abusive. It’s completely benign,” Gardner said.
4. Extreme jealousy
“Isolation over time, it just snowballs. Little things. There’s extreme jealousy. I was not allowed to have social media. My family, my dad wasn’t even allowed in our home. My friends, he found ways to tell me all the bad things about my friends and how they didn’t fit into my life and why they were not good for me,” Gardner said.
5. Specific threat
“She said if she went missing, look in a lake. That tells me, as someone who’s been there, I’ve been through it, it’s because she was told that over and over again. I was told over and over and over again throughout our relationship that he was going to kidnap me, throw me in the trunk of a car and I wouldn’t know where we were going. And the week before I was shot, I was at lunch with a friend of mine and I told him, ‘If I go missing, it was Stephen,’” Gardner said.
In Gardner’s case, Stephen Clare is charged with multiple charges, including capital murder, and is facing the death penalty. He is scheduled to be back in court next week.
As for Brad Simpson, he has a hearing scheduled in early December.
Learning about domestic violence:
Gardner has now dedicated her life to advocacy for other survivors and education for the public.
A huge thing she teaches is not to ask a victim why they haven’t left or why they stayed.
“When you leave, that’s when it becomes lethal. Sometimes you have to do this dance of safety and decide if it’s safer to stay or safer to leave. You don’t understand survival until you’ve been there,” Gardner said.
She explains that an abuser will typically have laid out threats that often include the victim’s loved ones.
“What happens if I leave? He will find me. He will hurt my children. I will never see my children again. Those are all the things that replay in your head every single day. I guarantee she wants to leave. She thinks about it all the time,” she said.
Gardner hopes people will stop putting the burden on the person being abused.
“She’s the one trying to protect herself and her children. So, the responsibility does not rely on her. The better question is, ‘Why is he abusing?’ We as a community need to educate ourselves,” Gardner said, saying the emphasis needs to be on prevention.
She said there are other helpful, even life-saving things, someone can ask a victim.
“The easiest thing would be ‘How can I help?’ Or in a loving, compassionate way say, ‘Hey I’m concerned. What’s going on is not right. And I want to help you. I want to be a resource for you,’” Gardner said.
It takes a domestic violence victim an average of seven times trying to leave before actually being able to cut ties.
“And if the person isn’t ready to leave, don’t hold it against them. Don’t try to place the blame on them. They’re already going through enough. They already feel so bad. Their abuser is very likely telling them they deserve it. They should not be loved. They’re a terrible mother. They’re a terrible human being. Like who knows what they’re being told,” Gardner explained.
She suggests the loved one reach out to professionals, like the domestic violence help line or even a local shelter like Family Violence Prevention Services.
“Speak with an advocate and say, ‘Hey, someone I love is going through this. How can I help them? Safety plan with them?’” Gardner said.
Creating a safety plan is a good way for a victim to be ready when they are actually ready to leave.
“My inbox is open all the time. If someone reaches out to me we will safety plan. We will go over resources. I will reach out to people on their behalf. There’s a whole community of love and support,” Gardner said.
She wants victims everywhere to know, there is help and hope. Leaving is possible if done safely.
Domestic violence resources
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is a long list of resources on KSAT’s Domestic Violence page which includes a breakdown of what abuse is, and how it builds gradually.
If you are in crisis, you can:
- call or text 911
- call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233
- call the local Family Violence Prevention Services, which runs the shelter (Crisis Number: 210-733-8810, Programs and Administration: 210-930-3669)
- call the Bexar County Family Justice Center at 210-631-0100.